$ whoami # v13.3 · uptime: 52 years · all systems running

Coert Voorhees

Novelist

ALA Top Ten, 2009

Founder

Arden Labs → acq. by LISNR, 2025

Educator

Grammaropolis · 10M+ views

VP Commercial, LISNR

current deployment

"Write what you know," they say. I say get out there and know more stuff.

Taught 7th grade grammar six years. Built the parts of speech their own town.

Everybody knows theatre majors make the best founders.